humansofnewyork:

"I have a neck injury so I had to tone it down this year."

humansofnewyork:

"I have a neck injury so I had to tone it down this year."

dont-kill-the-kennedys:

wereyoufullyawareofthisgaming:

me when i miss my flight

How in the heavens is that a failed stunt jump

dont-kill-the-kennedys:

wereyoufullyawareofthisgaming:

me when i miss my flight

How in the heavens is that a failed stunt jump

thesugarhole:

if we are talking in person and i accidentally spit dont even call out i saw it and im dead inside

rupsidaisy:

straight boys don’t shut their mouths because their lips would be touching and that’s gay

seriousjones:

officers, i’m afraid you can’t arrest me for murder. when i murdered that guy, i was only doing it to highlight how ridiculous and wrong is to murder someone. it was actually quite anti-murder if you think about it. i understand how you might make that mistake, but next time i hope you don’t take my actions out of context :^)

artkat:

despairnaegami:

personasanta:

does anybody else think tired and sleepy mean two totally different things

sleepy is cute and dozing off and happy but tired is 10 cups of coffee and murder

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orlandobloomers:

1993 ad for a mini disc recorder im fucking laughing I CAN RECORD ON A DISC! I CAN RECORD ON A DISC!

orlandobloomers:

1993 ad for a mini disc recorder im fucking laughing I CAN RECORD ON A DISC! I CAN RECORD ON A DISC!

chromedomed:

legomance:

how many ants are need to fill an apartment

tenants

literalgrantaire:

Hey, they should do a reverse version of Faking It where a couple of lesbians pretend to be straight so they’re accepted!
They could call it “Real Life”.

kardashy:

My friend’s grandma got her something from Hollister as a gift, but apparently she didn’t like the shirtless guy on the bag so she sewed a shirt on it.

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